I was going to title this newsletter Priorities, and then ask, What’s Important? But that seemed very familiar. Sure enough, I had written a newsletter in September 2021 entitled What’s Important/Priorities, right at the shift into Fall. Here we are again at the Doyo, the time of seasonal change according to Traditional Chinese Medicine. The Doyo comes four times a year for about two to three weeks, basically ten days before and after each of the two solstices and equinoxes. We are in flux during this transition, which I talked about in that September newsletter.
So it seemed I am right back where I was six months ago, thinking about the same things right at the same time of the turning of the season. But we are never in the same place in the river. The river keeps flowing, so even if we seem to stand still, the part of the river we are in is not what we were in even a moment ago. Life is like that. It keeps moving on, just like the river.
My scenery seems similar, but the river is completely different. My priorities are different. Each day we do the same things, and each day looks and feels somehow different. As my husband requires more and more care and attention because of his age and health, what I think about gets more and more focused. All that is important now is how am I taking care of myself so I can take care of our little family.
Yes, I have to do all the usual details that running a household and a business require. But it all takes a backseat to being present to myself, so I can be present to Ed and Pamela and Little Bear. How I take care of myself determines how well I can take care of them. The more support I let in the more grounded I feel. And then I am more willing to sit with my grief and loss, to feel when I’m tired, or be aware of what will help fill my reservoir.
It gets simpler and simpler. More essential and basic. I talk and text and email with family and friends; I spend time with Ed, Pamela and Little Bear. I work when I can. I keep checking in, asking, what feels loving now? How do I take care of myself today?
Just like always, and entirely unique.