It is said that none of us are getting out of this life alive. My late husband Edward Sollisch often said he wanted to live to 120. I think he couldn’t believe that he was really dying. Sometime in that last week before he died on July 10, I think it dawned on him that he wouldn’t make it to 120. And also in those last days, I remember looking into his blue green eyes and saying, you look so pure! And he said, I feel so pure. I feel like light!
I once read that even if it takes till the last moment of our last breath, we remember we are divine. In that moment, looking into my Eddie’s eyes in his always unlined face, I could feel that he remembered his light, his divinity, his oneness. I felt the same thing with my mom in the hours before her death. As fearful as she was about dying, in those moments before she lapsed into unconsciousness 12 years ago, she remembered her light, her oneness. I felt her ease and her joy, at last. When she visited me in spirit a few days after her death, she was bursting with Love. I felt it come over me in waves. She was so happy she remembered she was pure love, and that I could finally feel her unconditional love.
In the two weeks since Ed died, I have been feeling him around me constantly. He feels loving, comforting, happy, free. The word that keeps coming to my mind is benevolent. I have been feeling all the warmth and unconditional love that he was capable of when he was in his highest self here on earth surrounding me these last two weeks. This morning as I was thinking of him, he said to me, you have nothing to worry about. All is taken care of. All is well. Everything is taken care of perfectly. You are all taken care of. And he said, you know this, you teach this. Embrace this, apply this, practice this now more than ever.
In a meditation some years ago, I saw that Ed came into my life to show me unconditional love so that I could finally experience that. In that same mediation, I saw that I came into his life to show him what it was like to be taken care of, to help him allow himself to be lovingly taken care of. He agreed with both of those ideas when I shared that meditation with him. Looking back over the last 40+ years we knew each other, along with all the ups and down, along with all that life brought to us, I think we both got just what we asked for, and just what we needed.