Depending on the way we look at a situation, what might at first look dire, upsetting or scary, might actually have the possibility to be really wonderful, if we allow for it and trust it. We can reframe a situation from what seems obvious at first to what might also be possible.
When my sister got married a few years ago, I really wanted to be there. There seemed to be a number of obstacles to flying out to California and getting to the mountains for the wedding. I finally decided not to go. My husband had a health issue that would have made it very dicey for him to fly . . . but we didn’t find out how potentially dangerous until after the wedding. While I was sad I missed the wedding, I got to be there via Skype, and I was ever so grateful I didn’t get a clear YES to going. Even in my disappointment, not planning/packing/traveling for a quick turnaround trip gave some sense of relief. There wasn’t just one perspective. And . . . it turned out we were so taken care of.
COVID happened. Everything shut down. Right about then, my husband needed more care, and his needs have only increased. COVID has caused such tragedy and difficulty for so many. I always worried what would happen if Ed needed more care and I couldn’t work as much. And then it did happen. And it turns out that this has been such a sweet time for our whole household. Things occurred to take care of us and guide us that I couldn’t have imagined.
In the course of my life, I tried to do the things one is supposed to do according to our society and culture. Go to school, get a good job, make money, have a relationship with the one perfect person, maybe have kids, be a consumer. For many reasons, including trauma and parental messaging, I didn’t/couldn’t follow the accepted path. I didn’t navigate school well, didn’t get a degree, studied lots of alternative energy work, rode motorcycles, lived in a trailer, camped and traveled alone, had dysfunctional relationships and jobs, didn’t take loving care of myself in oh so many ways, couldn’t have kids . . . and put my life in real danger at times. I kept trying to work at “normal” jobs. I just didn’t fit in so many ways.
And thank goodness for that. While it was painful, confusing and I was often fearful, I was so taken care of, even when I felt so alone. I was always on my path, just the way it was supposed to be. I just had to keep putting one foot in front of the other because that’s all I could see. But my Higher Self could see the whole picture. Everything was unfolding just perfectly.
So I could say I made a lot of mistakes, didn’t know what I was doing, and failed in so many ways. Or I could say, I just lucked out.
What I will say, the perspective I see now and I really feel, is Wow! What an interesting life, full of love. How blessed am I?!