I’ve thought of a lot of things to write about this week. I thought that I pretty much slept March away. I’ve always been an early riser, so to sleep in is somewhat out of character for me. It’s been heavenly, and also an adjustment. I don’t think of myself that way. I had to let that idea of myself go. Maybe I don’t need to be an early riser right now. We process a lot in our sleep, so I must have a LOT to process. I’m dreaming of people that have crossed over. I’m dreaming of people from way back when.
I don’t have kids to teach at home, although I have a teacher at home who is in the thick of the remote teaching, so I am witnessing all the stress involved. I have an elderly loved one who needs a lot of care, so it’s good that I can’t go to the office right now. I’m grateful some clients are willing to connect through Skype and phone. I’m happy friends are connecting and checking in. Because I had the time, I reached out to a friend I text with occasionally but have known for many years, and found out her mother was dying. I was grateful I was guided to contact her just as this was happening. I could offer love when her mother died.
I don’t worry about getting a lot done. I know some people are accomplishing a lot in their houses, but I’m not even bothering to make a list of what I want/need to do. I don’t know where the time goes everyday. I never appreciated how much time and energy it takes to take care of someone, really attend to someone who needs a lot of care. No wonder mothers are overwhelmed and exhausted. And some fathers, too.
I feel like I’m floating along. I feel neutral much of the time. Neutral is a good place to be. My mind has time to declutter. I have the space to think of things I kept putting off, figuring I’d think of them later, when I had time. And now they are popping up, because my mind is not so filled up, not so compressed. I realize this time, difficult as it is, is also unique. We may never experience anything like this again, at least in most of our lifetimes. The quiet, the emptiness. Snow days without the snow. And yet, it’s also the same as every other time: we never really know what is going to happen. We just think we do. And things that seemed impossible a few weeks ago, are now happening.
I’m aware of all the anxiety, sadness, grief and uncertainty in the world. It’s too much to hold. So from my little corner of the world, I send love to everyone and the whole world.
And how do I take loving care of me? I just show up each day, ask over and over, what do I need to do right now? What would be loving right now? I try to notice what is going on and what I’m feeling in the moment. I say to myself, so this is what’s happening now! It allows me to trust what is showing up in the present, let go, over and over and over . . . and go with the flow and stay present, as much as I can.
Please remember the “Good Enough” principle right now. We are doing the best we can. We don’t need to be perfect and we never will be. Life is perfectly imperfect. And always, I send you more love than you can imagine.