Many of you who know me, have come to see me for a session, or read my blog, book or newsletters, have followed my story, the arc of my life experiences. Everything that happens to us is just life. Life happens. Focusing on the process rather than the content helps us to move forward.
What’s important is how we respond. That way we can see our way through anything: all the sadness, all the grief, all the disappointment, all the fear, and all the excitement that will invariably give way to the day to day.
I find it helpful to keep this in mind every day. With everything that comes up, if I say, oh, this is what’s happening now, I stay grounded and don’t wish for a situation to be over or last forever. It’s all okay. It’s just what’s happening now. This is how we embrace it all, whatever it is. And it will change.
Pamela and I were to fly to California to see my sister, brother-in-law and nephew on Jan 7. On January 3, Pamela fell and broke two ribs. Trip canceled. On January 8, my sister called and said her husband was in the hospital. On January 10, he had a heart attack, and on January 11 I flew out to California – the day of the FAA glitch. It took me almost 24 hours to get there. And on Friday January 13, Richard died.
It seems surreal that within the space of six months, my sister and I both are widows. Our circumstances are so different. She had 11 years with Richard, I had almost 40 with Ed. She just retired on January 1, 2023. Nothing can be compared. Everyone’s life, plight and suffering is their individual path and we can’t understand anyone else’s path. All suffering deserves compassion.
I think that everything that happens in life helps us learn to love more. As devastated as my sister is, she is saying to people, love now. Don’t take time for granted. Do what you want now. Don’t delay. You never know what’s going to happen. Stay present. Enjoy what you have in the moment. Love more, now.
We both had losses before we found love again. And even in the shock and sadness, I found a new closeness with my sister and my two nephews, her sons. Even more love, more than I could imagine.
Everything brings us back to love, sometimes through our heart breaking . . . if we allow it.